Anyone who has worked with me, knows my first answer is usually “It depends”. And crib transitions are no exception! Every child is different and every family has different ways of dealing with things and circumstances to consider. There are some readiness signs to look for and some red flags to be aware of when thinking about moving your child to their first big bed.
Let’s get the elephant out of the room and address the biggest cause of early bed transitions – Little Escape Artists! These mini-explorers are not looking for a way out and it’s not that they don’t like their crib anymore. Most young children actually enjoy the coziness and security their crib provides them. The climbing attempts are often about the challenge of getting out, finding their ability to do so, rather than the result of being out. They also quite enjoy the game that results when parents rush in, reinforcing their new activity with attention and energy. Crib jumping is not a reason, in itself, to transition to a bed.
Another major reason early bed transitions happen is to prepare for the arrival of another baby. While budgetary reasons may factor into your decision, moving your toddler out of the crib too early can affect the whole family’s sleep. The new baby is already going to have a big impact to your sleep and your energy. Combining that with a toddler on the loose may be a headache that is not worth the money saved! Even when all signs point to your big brother or sister to be as ready for the new bed, I recommend making the change 3-4 months before or after the baby is born. It’s often helpful to keep this change from being specifically associated with the new baby. Additionally, keeping the crib empty and available for a while during the transition can be a great motivator for your child.
So how do you know when it’s really time…
Has your child expressed an interest in a new bed?
If used regularly, the crib is all your kiddo has known. It represents safety, security and sleep for them. Moving to a new, open environment before they are ready could potentially be a source of anxiety, and can disrupt the sleep patterns they have established to this point. When a child show interest in big beds, or ask for a bed like yours, or a friend or sibling, they are showing signs they are ready to move beyond that security and have the curiosity to expand their world. They will also be more inclined to enjoy the new bed and be motivated to follow your bedtime rules if the change was their idea in the first place.
Is your child able to understand and follow rules?
Without the physical barrier of crib rails, a child’s self-control is an important factor in making a decision to change established routines. A national survey showed that more than 50% of children under the age of 3 were unable to resist doing something parents had asked them not to. When we ask children to stay in a bed with no physical boundary, and expect them to stay there, we need to ensure they are developmentally capable of this expectation! We also need to know they can be safe in their environment without supervision and know what an imaginary boundary means. The age at which each child reaches this ability is very different, but on average is after turning three.
Is your child sleeping well?
If you are thinking of changing venues to solve a sleep problem, think again! Most experts agree that getting sleep issues under control while you have a stable and contained environment is much more effective than making a lot of changes without boundaries. Many families find themselves negotiating sleep deals and relinquishing control to overtired toddlers in an effort to get sleep for themselves. Removing the ability to confine them often exacerbates the existing problems and leads to even more. Behavior worsens, sleep decreases, and your resolve melts away with your ever increasing exhaustion. It’s very hard to go back and undo this transition, so make sure good sleep habits are well defined before making the big change.
Is there a safety issue?
There are times when, despite our best efforts, safety trumps readiness. If the crib become a trampoline, the child exceeded the weight limit or crib climbing turns into a daily base jumping exercise, then it may be time. Once the crib is seriously no longer an option for safety reasons – and its time to look at a bed, you’ll have to consider the age and do some serious baby proofing! Look at the entire room in the same way you would set up a crib for children under 3. What is safe to have unsupervised? What can be climbed on, in, under or out of? What can be pulled over or down? What can be swallowed, wrapped in or choked on? What will be a distraction to sleep? Can the child enter and exit the bed safely? How will you ensure your child stays in this safe room while you are asleep while they are too young to control impulses to get out?
If you think your child is ready to move to the big kid bed and you aren’t sure how to proceed – or you know it’s not time and need tips on keeping your little one crib safe for longer, please get in touch! I’d love to help out.